Greit å ha noen å slå løs på...

 

...når man trenger å bli kvitt et par frustrasjoner!







 

BTW... Denne gangen spiller jeg som mann. Uvant! :D



Ha fin lørdagskveld, dere... det skal jeg! :)

 

Når "Microsoft" ringer - eller "Hvordan få telefonscammeren til å legge på først"...

 

Fikk en ny oppringing fra disse smartingene som gjør ukentlige forsøk på å svindle meg... Også denne gangen fra noe som høres ut som et typisk call center, og han som ringte snakket med en sterk indisk aksent (evt. Pakistan eller Bangla). Denne gangen kom nummeret som ringte opp som en masse nuller. Forrige gang var det skjult nummer, men samme folka - i hvertfall samme aksenter, samme navn og samme scam. Gangene før der var det 003581256789999 (2 ganger), 0085613743581 (1 gang) og 1256789999 (2 ganger) som ringte...

Denne gangen ville jeg se hvor lenge jeg klarte å holde dem på linja... og jeg klokket dem inn på 39 minutter. Moahahaha! Satser på en time neste gang. :D
Dette er hovedpunktene i samtalen.. (fritt etter hukommelsen).

 

"Hello ma'am. My name is Michael and I'm calling from technical department of Windows operating system about your computer..."

"Kevin, hi, how nice to hear from you again. It's been so long... almost a week. How are you."

"I am well, ma'am, thank you. I am calling about your computer, from technical department  of Windows."

"Yes, I know. You already said that..."

"Yes, ma'am. Your computer has a problem. We are receiving error messages of warnings. I will help you fix it."

"Yes, I know. It's horrible, isn't it? All these viruses and internet scams that are going around these days. Absolutely terrifying. I am so glad you called... again."

"Yes, ma'am. Now please turn on your computer."

"Which one?"

"I don't understand ma'am."

"Which one of my 8 computers do you want me to turn on?"

"Auuummm... your computer, ma'am."

"But which one? A desktop or a laptop?"

"Any computer, ma'am."

"Ok. That one's already on, I'm sitting right in front of it."

"Now open your web browser."

"Bowser? What is that? I don't think I have that."

"Open the Internet Explorer, ma'am."

"Ummm... (laaaang pause her)... I don't think I have that."

"Just open your normal web browser."

"What is that. Do you mean Google?"

"Yes. Can you go to google.com, ma'am?"

"Yes, of course I can. Hang on, Daniel."
(ny laaang pause her mens jeg klikker litt på tastaturet og svarer et par stykker på Skype...)

"Ok. I have Google on my screen now."

"Very good, ma'am. Now if you will type into your browser this address... dablio dablio dablio..."

(Hæ?!?!... Her avbryter jeg ham)
"Excuse me?!"

"Please type this address into your browser. Dablio dabl..."

"Is this a joke? Are you trying to impersonate a turkey? What is dablio?"

"Dablio..."

"I don't know what that is, Christopher."

"Dablio. Like whiskey, ma'am."

"I don't know of any whiskey called Dablio."

"No, ma'am. You just need to type in the address."

"Ok, can you spell it?"

"Spell it?"

"Spell out the address for me... letter by letter."

"Dablio dablio dablio..."

(her går det omsider et lys opp for meg...)

"Oooohhhh... you mean w..."

(stor lettelse i andre enden...)

"Yes ma'am. Dablio."

"Ok. What is the address?"

"Dablio dab..."

"No, drop the w's, google don't actually need them, you know.  Just give me the address, Agathon."

"Dabl...umm........................umm........................... um... burbak.com, ma'am?"

(jeg googler "burbak.com", men har nok hørt feil et sted...)

"That website is about agriculture. I don't care much for farming."

"No, ma'am. That is not the right site. Try this address instead... t e c h z o n e s u p p o r t dot i n f o"

(googler techzonesupport.info - seems legit, men jeg gidder ikke gå inn der likevel)

"Yes?"

"What do you see in your browser?"

"What's the browser again?"

"............ Google."

"Oh, okay. Yes, I see Google."

"Press enter."

"That doesn't really do anything for me..."

 "Please try again... dablio dablio dablio dot t e c h z o..."

"Yes, yes, I know the address. The page is all white though. I don't see anything there. It's broken."

"..." (det hadde han visst ikke forventet... lang stillhet i andre enden)

"I thought you were supposed to fix my computer!"

"Yes, ma'am. I will fix your computer."

"Well... fix it then!"

"Yes, ma'am. I will put you to my supervisor."

(Her overtar en annen fyr. Enda tjukkere aksent... og denne karen presenterte seg ikke.)

 "Good morning, ma'am. How are you?"

"Hello, Patrick. Thanks for asking. Not so well I'm afraid. Apparently my computer has come down with a virus or something... warning messages galore, and something about Bowser... Oh, maybe this is all Mario's fault!"

(Enten skjønte han ikke referansen, eller han valgte å overhøre den.)

 "Yes, I will fix your computer for you, ma'am."

"Ok."

"Yes, ma'am. Do you see the Windows button on the bottom?"

"Yes."

"Click the Windows button."

"Ok."

"Now type e v e n t v..."

"Type where?"

"Do you see the type box below, ma'am."

(det ble stille en stund mens han ventet på at jeg skal finne søkefeltet... jeg rakk å rulle meg en røyk. Tålmodig fyr dette.)

"Do you see the type box, ma'am?"

"Yes, Samuel, of course I see it. I am not blind, you know."

"Yes, ma'am. Type into the box -  e v e n t v dablia r."

"Why didn't you just ask me to open event viewer?"

"Yes, ma'am. Do you see the lists of errors and warnings there. The numbers."

"OMG! Yes, I do. Oh, this is so bad!"

"This is the problem in your computer. I will fix it for you."

"Yes, of course you will. I am so glad you called!"

"Please open your web browser, ma'am."

"You want me to go to techzonesupport.info again? 'Cause it's still not working."

"No. I will give you another address. Dablia dablia dablia dot a m m y y dot com..."

"Ok."

(jeg setter duden på høyttaler og går og henter kaffe - han har fremdeles ikke sagt noe når jeg kommer tilbake etter et minutt eller to... jeg venter en god stund til uten å si noe)

"Ma'am?"

"Yes... just waiting for the page to load." (egentlig sitter jeg på Youtube og blar i let's play-videoer...)

"The page is not loading?"

"Nope. It's all white."

"Please try again, ma'am."

(venter ca. et minutt til...)

"Here it is now"

"Very good. Now click on the big, green button."

"You want me to run Ammyy Admin?"

"Yes, ma'am, you must need to run the admin." (ja, han sa virkelig det!)

"Why?"

"So I can fix your computer, ma'am."

"No, thank you. I already have a few remote desktop clients, including the Windows built-in one. I don't need another one."

"You don't need to install it, ma'am. I will give you a special login code."

"Ok... that sounds suspicious."

"No, I am expert of technical department of Windows operating system."

"Are you really an expert? You don't sound like one."

"Yes, ma'am. I am expert of Windows security. I will fix your computer for you."

"Ok. Soooo... what's wrong with my computer?"

"We are receiving error messages and warnings of your computer, ma'am."

"What do they say?"

"... aaaah ...?"

"What are the error messages?"

"Please click the green button, ma'am. I will show you what is the problem."

"Ok, clicking... (venter et minutt eller så)... clicking again... (venter en stund til...) Nothing happens."

"Nothing happen?"

"Nope. The button is dead."

"Dead?"

"Yes. the button is not working."

"I will give you the chief technical supervisor of security now, ma'am."

(masse knitre og skrapelyder...)

"Good morning, ma'am. How are you doing? I am John of technical department of Windows operating system." (jøss, jobber du også der? det ville jeg aldri ha gjettet...!)

"Hello, Frederick. It is actually afternoon her, not morning, thank goodness."

"Yes, ma'am. Is the button not working?"

"No, Thomas. The button is not working. You really need to fix your website. Anyway, as I was telling your partner in crime earlier, I have plenty of remote desktop clients already. I find the one from Microsoft particulary handy. Why don't you just use that? You are from Microsoft, aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am. I am John of technical security department of Windows operating system."

 "John? I thought you said your name was Baldrick?!?"

"... uh... yes, ma'am."

"So, Charles... what was it you wanted me to do?"

(her ble det stille en stund... og jeg lurer på om han har luktet lunta)

"Press the green button, ma'am."

"What green button?"

"What do you see on your screen, ma'am?"

"I see Pewdiepie playing Penumbra... and he's screamin' like a girl!" (yep, fremdeles på youtube)

"..." (laaang stillhet i andre enden)
"Have a nice day, ma'am."

*klikk*

 

Jeg gleder meg allerede til neste uke! :D

 

PS! http://www.ammyy.com og Ammyy Admin er legit og har ingenting annet med disse svindlerne å gjøre enn at de bruker programvaren deres for å få tilgang til ofrenes datamaskiner. Svindlerne har også brukt f.eks. logmein og teamviewer ser jeg når jeg googler fram lignende saker. Denne siden har mye morsom lesing... http://netsecurity.about.com/b/2011/09/27/have-you-fallen-for-the-ammyy-scam.htm :)

 

August 2013: Disse folka fortsetter å ringe meg... nå har de gitt opp forsøket på å komme inn på maskina mi, og har gått over til "I want to be your friend!"

"I want to be your friend". Telefonscammeren ringte på nytt! (lydopptak)

De vennlige telefonsvindlerene - dag 2 (enda et opptak)

 

Idol...

 

Noen ganger blir man bare sittende og måpe... :)

 

Sjå soli skin...

 

ENDELIG!!!

Ser ut som mørketida kanskje, kanskje er over for i år. :D



Foran huset og bak huset. Jeg kunne sikkert tatt et inne også, men sola viste meg alt støvet jeg ikke har sett i skinnet fra 500W-lysrøret, så det droppet jeg. :p

 

drm13sas